The Trials of a Fanfiction Writer
by BlondeOnBlonde34
Summary: All Johanna wants is to write a worthy OC, without everyone being OOC. But with Mary Sue cliches all over the place, an evil little brother with a plan for her destruction, and a lack of symbolysim in her life, what's a wannabe writer to do?


AN: This was supposed to be a 'Sue- parody. But I kinda got sidetracked, as always. Hope you like it anyway!

Disclaimer: I'd have a better computer if I was C. S. Lewis

_The fallen girl was beautiful, Peter noted. She had long, honey colored hair, fanning out on the grass. Her pink lips were slightly parted, and her nose was small and delicate. Suddenly she opened her eyes, and Peter found himself drowning in the most perfect, pure blue color he had ever seen . . ._

Delete. Delete. Delete.

The writer sighed and leaned back in her swivel chair. It was much more symbolic, she mused, when you could wad up paper and throw it in the trash. With computers, it was always back space. You never saw _that_ in movies.

Johanna pushed her hair form her eyes. It was exhausting, trying to write a worthy OC. You could never escape the Mary Sues. She almost wished she'd been around before anyone was aware of them, when no one would know if you created them. It was like living after 9/11, she thought bitterly to herself.

She went at the computer again, another idea forming in her mind.

_Peter stared at the girl in battle. Her sword flashed, again and again, bringing down the White Witch's henchmen. She was obviously skilled with a blade. Around her was strewn her, or rather his, dead enemies. She'd seen he was outnumbered and, not even knowing who he was, had come to his aid._

_He didn't know her either. Her strong features suggested aristocracy, and the dark hair pulled back in a braid looked well kept. But he'd thought he and his siblings to be the only humans in Narnia._

_He noticed she'd finished with her foes. His eyes sought hers. Her piercing gaze bored into him. "Who are you?" he asked softly._

_She stood straighter, if possible. "I," she began proudly "Am Silviara, first daughter-"_

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Johanna cradled her head in her hands. 'I could write an incest fic,' she thought. 'I'm good with incest fics. And even_ I _can't Mary-Sueify two canon characters. But there are so many incest fics. There are almost no well written OC's, and I _can_ write.' She was tired. She wished she was making money off this. Maybe she'd try with someone other than Peter. Her fingers started flying again.

_Audrey slapped Edmund right across the face. Her face was flushed a deep, deep pink and her eyes were sparking dangerously. "How dare you!" she yelled. "How dare you first confess so called undying love for me, and then go kiss some random serving maid!"_

"_Audrey, Wait! I can explain, I really can, just listen!" he called after her, but she was already gone. She'd turned too fast for him to see, but there were teardrops, glittering down her cheeks. _

Jo surveyed her work critically. 'Not bad', she thought 'definitely has potential.' There was just one teensy problem.

In the years to come, Johanna always first offered a prayer, then a curse, to her writing teacher. One of the lessons he had instilled in her was to always start in the middle. Well, that was coming back to bite her in the butt. With a vengeance. She had no idea who Audrey was, or how she'd gotten there, or what had happened before hand. The idea of a girl finding a portal to Narnia was just _so_ clichéd, but how else would she have gotten there? 'Fuck it,' Johanna thought. Then, inspiration came down from the heavens. Audrey was a girl with a tragic past, 'no, can't do that, too Mary-Sueish,' Audrey claimed to be a descendant of the very old kings of Narnia, and she wanted her throne, or at least some money. Yeah, that was it! She'd come to Cair Paravel looking for recompense, but instead falls for Edmund. And she thinks he betrayed her . . .

Jo got home from school a few weeks later fairly bouncing. She was almost finished with her first epic. She liked to write the entire story, and post it in bits, to keep reviews wanting more, but knowing it was out there. She had a quite large fan base form her other work, and she hoped to get even more with this. Already, her supporters were holding a mini internet release party.

She ran down to her room, and her heart sank. There was her little brother, Tommy, sitting at her computer.

"Tommy, baby, what cha doing?" she asked cautiously. Her little brother was widely considered a monster in human form by everyone who met him. Well, at least her. Strangely, he was considered quite popular in that stupid middle school of his. She'd been banned from for a month because of him going onto her account and advocating for the Mafia, the Ku Klux Klan, and the 'Nuke Everything' fund.

He turned to her with a wicked gleam. "You wrote a sex scene!" he shrieked gleefully. "Oh, just wait till I tell mom and dad!"

Her heart sank. He'd found 'Brighter Than Gold,' her Narnia story. She was so, so screwed.

She knelt down to his level. "Look, Tommy," she said sweetly. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone, Mom will know about that role playing porn site you go on all the time."

Tommy smiled. He really was a bastard. "I'll tell them I'm using your password." He countered just as sweetly.

"I'll them you've submitted pictures to it."

"I'll tell them you have too."

"Squealer."

"Bitch."

Jo sighed. She was going to be the underground Narnian fics next big thing. And who knows what from there? She could conquer the fan fic world, if only her story got released!

"Look, bub," she said, pulling him up by the shirt. "If you don't get your under nourished ass out of here, I swear to God I'll tell Louise," she said, naming his girlfriend, "about that chesty little thing; what was her name? Oh, Alison, that was it. She was the flexible one, right?"

He paled visibly. "You wouldn't dare." he stated.

She smiled what she liked to call her shark smile. "Watch me."

He scuttled out of her room. "You wait for it, Johanna Morris! When you least expect it, except it!"

She smirked. Her brother was a wimp, a well and true wimp. It was amazing he was considered such a stud at that middle school of his. She thanked her god every day that she was the hell outta there.

She sat down happily at her computer. She read over the last two or three paragraphs of her story; those were her favorites.

_Audrey walked cautiously towards Edmund. He held his arms. He couldn't believe it. She had ridden out of the castle on her horse, Saffron Yellow, and he didn't think he'd ever see her again. But for once in his life, he'd taken initiative, and followed her. Her father had forced her to go to Narnia. He'd seen the "castle" she lived in. Ruins from a better time, crumbling around her head. It was a miracle that he'd managed to pull her out before it had collapsed and killed her along with her family. _

_But now she was back with him, where she belonged._

_She stepped towards him tentatively. 'Yes!'Edmund cheered silently. He'd done right, for once._

_She held out a hand . . . then just as quickly pulled it back and punched him square in the jaw._

_He staggered back. "What the hell, Audrey?" he shouted. "I saved your ass, and you know it!"_

_Tears were streaming down her face. "I don't need anyone to save me, Pevensie!" she screamed, her throat raw. "I was going to manage perfectly fine!"_

_He couldn't help but laugh. "Audrey, you would have been killed! And excuse me for loving you too much to let that happen!" he started to stalk off, but then he felt her hand on his shoulder._

"_You love me?" she asked. Her voice wasn't soft; Audrey was rarely soft, but rather she was quietly blissful._

_He sighed and kicked the dirt. "How thick are you?" he asked angrily. "I would have followed you anywhere, died for you, even if you do hate me, but you're just too bloody stubborn to appreciate a damn thing-" He was suddenly cut off by her reaching behind his neck, pulling him towards her and kissing him soundly on the lips._

_This was the best moment of his life, he decided. It was sad, to have your peak so young. That was until the next kiss. And the next. If his life just kept getting better, he'd surely die from happiness. _

_She finally broke away. "I love you too, you dunderheaded boy," she said tenderly. "Now, let's go tell Susan and Lucy."_

_They started to walk back to Cair Paravel, hand in hand. Edmund found he couldn't stop smiling. But that was alright, because he'd looked over and seen Audrey had a grin stretched across her face as well. _

_**~ Finis~**_

Johanna honked loudly into a nearby tissue. She always cried at the end of her stories, whether they were happy or sad. She just couldn't believe it. She'd worked so hard, and here it was. Smiling, she got ready to post the first chapter on Fanfiction.

Tommy, still standing in the door way, started to smile too, but for an entirely different reason. He had a plan to make sure Johanna's success never came to fruitation.

AN: I wrote this a loooongtime ago. Love it? Hate it? Want me to continue? I can't read minds!


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